Mom… Boob

Hey guys – Hope you had a super rad weekend + and an even better start to the new week! I’m sitting here, nursing AJ, realizing I’ve got so much mommy stuff on my mind and what better place to share than on my blog. TMI warning for the rant sesh to follow – maybe you can relate, or maybe you cant. Either way – let me get this off my chest.

Extended nursing. Full-term breastfeeding. Whatever you’d like to label it – let’s actually talk about it.

As we all know, breastfeeding is recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics for at least one year, + the World Health Organization’s recommendation bumps that up to 2 — and both also suggest that moms continue for as long as they want and/or can, as mutually desired. Two key words there – Mutually. And desired.

Right now – I’m in a weird place and I get  it – it’s all about perspective. There are many days I look down at AJ while nursing and boy does it my melt my heart. I cherish these sweet little moments with him + full on realize I’ll never get these days back. However, on the flip side – there are just as many days where I find myself a little over it. I feel over touched. Over exposed. Overly annoyed. And on those days, I feel a little mommy guilt. AJ eats food like a champ + is only using my boobs at this point for comfort.  But thats what makes the weaning so much bigger of a challenge for us. Kids who suck their thumb – how do they stop? Jax was uber addicted to the binky but getting him to quit cold turkey was quite simple – we threw them all away and he never looked back. It was easy – easy enough. Sure there were days that were more emotional than others – but all in all – it was NBD. I can’t really remove my boobs to wean my child – so now what? When AJ falls and gets hurt, he needs boob. When he’s upset about something, he wants boob. When he’s tired, he wants boob. Boob, boob, boob – all day long it’s boob! There are moments of sweetness but maaaaaan there are times I literally wanna flip him the bird.

I’ve nursed all 3 of my boys for a combined total just shy of 4 years.  Ben nursed exclusively for 16 months. Jax for somewhere around 6, and AJ is still going strong at 23 months. So we’re talking 45 months and counting… Now look, trust me when I say I’m not for one second sitting here bragging about it. To be honest, I’m actually sitting here contemplating how in the effing world am I going to stop.

So how do I do this? I have tried pretty much everything. Going away for a night. Vinegar on the nips. And I get it – people say “just stop giving it to him”. That all sounds great and all but it’s just not that easy and what happens when we finally do stop? Am I going to wish that we didn’t? Gah! I recently had a massage at The Pro Club  and while I was there, I shared with my PT about the conflicting thoughts I had been having regarding weaning AJ.  Listen mamas – this has to be one of the most genius ideas I have heard to date. Here is her story… She started nursing her LO [who I believe was 2+] in the same chair and only that chair, every single day. It became the “nursing chair”. And one day, when the time had come, her husband removed the chair from the room. Poof. Gone. When the LO woke up to nurse, mama said “Oh no! Our nursing chair is gone! It looks like the nursing days are now over.” And that was that. No more chair, no more boob. Seriously how genius is this? AJ definitely associates our couch with nursing – so I can definitely see how this could work. She also recommended using frozen green cabbage leaves to alleviate any pressure + to dry up the production of milk. Now I have never tried either one of these techniques – but I just might so I’ll keep ya posted.

My AJ is a pretty special little dude. Ever since we used WeeSleep’s gentle sleep training to get him completly off the nighttime nursing regimen + into his own bed, he’s really changed a lot – in the best of ways. He trusts himself. He knows what he can handle and he goes for it. He’s confident + I love that about him. But are those the characteristics of an LO who might actually do better in a child-lead weaning scenario? And if weaning is actually a developmental milestone, should I wait until he’s ready? Do you see it? I’m literally a huge emotional ball of conflicting emotions.  Do I believe when AJ’s ready to be done, he will be? I think so.  I guess the real question is, can I wait that long?

Thanks for letting me vent + stay tuned for the outcome:)

Side note // Mamas – whether you decide to nurse your babe for 1 second, 1 day, 1 week, 1 month or 1 year – you’re still a badass – you birthed a baby. Breastfeeding is certainly not for everyone, but if you can, give it a whirl. There are endless options when it comes to the support one needs to successfully nurse your LO – I’ll link a few below. Which resources have you or do you plan to utilize? And also – would you share your story with me in the comment section below? How long did you nurse + how / when / why did you stop?

x

Renee

 

Le Leche League USA

KellyMom.com

Breastfeeding Basics

Breastfeeding Moms Unite [FB]

 

Comments

  1. I have nursed all 3 of my babies. Baby 1 for 15 months; baby 2 for 16 months; and now my third currently still nursing at 14 months. I think this is our last baby (#3) so I am actually having a hard time thinking about weaning. 🙁 Even though I do know it needs to happen at some point. My husband and I are taking a weekend trip soon and I am wondering how that will go with nursing. Any ideas/tips? I am hoping she will resume nursing when I return. But do I pump while I am gone (even at 14 months?) Have yours always continued nursing if you are away for a bit?

    • Hi mama! Congrats on all your babies! And congrats on a LO free trip! You and your hubby are going to have the best time! I recently did a girls overnight and I needed to pump – a lot. So for sure bring a handheld – you’ll need it. I recommend that one bc it’s small and quiet but whatever pump you have, bring it:) Every baby is different. I know AJ did just fine without the boob that one night BUT as soon as he saw me, it was full-on nursing for several hours straight. More for comfort I think but he wasn’t showing any signs of wanting to wean. Have a blast on your trip!

  2. I just read this blog and have never related to anything more. My daughter will also be 2 in August and she is still nursing ALL THE TIME. We cosleep so she nursed all night long and even though she’s in part time child care as soon as she sees me she asks for “boobie”. I know it’s a comfort thing and I want to giver her the world but I’m ready to be able to sleep through the night and to wear what I want and to not be sore all the time from nursing. I just don’t know how to stop. I want her to be ready but how long is that going to take? I’m so glad to hear that you are having the same feelings. Thank you for sharing them!

  3. Hi! I can certainly understand where you are coming from. Definitely not easy! I nursed my first for 13 months and so proud. We had a ton of issues early on that we made it through. I was lucky enough that he self weaned so I didn’t have to make the call on when and how to wean him! It was definitely a bittersweet day. I got pregnant with my second the month after weaning, and here I on month #2 of nursing her. After the initial pain and getting back into the swing of things, I am loving the nursing sessions. It goes by so fast! Good luck to you on the weaning! 🙂

  4. My first son was about AJ’s age (a week or 2 before his 2nd bday) when I we stopped nursing cold turkey. I was in the exact same boat as you and it really stressed me out. What worked for us is I actually talked to him about it. I told him that once he turned 2 I would no longer be nursing him and he would be getting his milk from a cup. To my surprise it actually worked. We both woke up one morning, I poured him a glass of milk instead of lifting my shirt and we never looked back. I do think it helped that I prepared him for it so he had time to understand. Good luck!!!

  5. I weaned my son at 22 months. I did the “don’t offer but don’t refuse” method and it worked really well. He was so active that I just kept him super busy and he only ever thought of it if we were sitting. But I was 6 months pregnant and I think I just dried up so that made it easier. With my daughter I just weaned her at 2 and 5 months. We started when she turned 2. She would asked every moment all day so what worked for my son was not going to work for her. I slowly cut back on one nursing session a day. For us it was just the little snacking sessions that went first until I had her just nursing morning, nap (weekends)/after work (weekdays) and bedtime. I did always nurse if she got sick or badly hurt so I felt like it was always 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Then I started telling her the milk was gone in the morning then the milk was gone at naptime, etc. She Is very verbal so I told her my body made a lot of milk when she was a tiny baby and now that’s she older it is making less and less and soon it will be gone. She got this and knew it was coming eventually. We talked about it all the time. Finally we were at every other day then every 3 days. Bedtime was hardest for her. There were some rough nights but mostly she was just sad if it wasn’t a “Mama milk night” But we did it so gently and her being so old really did help her to get it even if she didn’t love it. This worked great for us. I just went with what felt right. A month later she asks “is there Mama milk in there?” And I tell her no she drank it all and she laughs and runs away. She would have nursed forever if I let her ☺️ Treasure this time and do what works for you both! I did read the blog by The Milk Meg with my son and actually did a Skype session with her to learn some methods to wean our son. I like a lot of her tips bc it’s all gentle. Sorry for the novel but it helped to hear other mom’s experiences when I was trying to figure it out. I am sad that chapter is over but she is still just as snuggly as ever! Good luck! You are an awesome mama!

  6. I’m a first time mom and I’ve been exclusively nursing my son for 11 months. He is starting to not nurse as much during the day, he eats tons of solids, but he still wants to nurse 2-3x a night for comfort. I am so tired! Idk how to wean him off of those night feedings. We don’t bed share because me being next to him seems to stimulate him and he sleeps worse. It’s been an amazing journey, I get emotional when I think about weaning completely, but I am feeling so burnt out lately.

  7. At 22 months my husband and I went on a trip without baby. By that time he was only nursing for comfort and only a couple times a day. By the time we returned from our 5 day trip he didn’t ask again! I barely had to pump while away and I dried up quickly after that. Two birds one stone- adult only vacay and weaning! 🙂

  8. I left a comment on your instagram but not sure if you’ll see it. I was recently in the SAME position as you. My son was also needing it more for comfort…when hes upset, gets hurt, is tired. The comment was way too long to put here too and it won’t let me copy and paste it. Go read ot when you get a chance…I explained what I did just 3 weeks ago and my son is 2 1/2. 😉

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